Trust. It’s a big deal.
No matter who we are or where we come from, at some time or other we all experience the pain and sorrow of a trust that is broken.
Learning to trust has been big part of my own journey. I don’t mind admitting, it’s been confusing, challenging and downright annoying at times. And there’s been a lot of pain.
For many years I didn’t trust my intuition, even when it told me loud and clear that things were wrong. As I grew spiritually this changed. I learned to listen to the messages and the more I worked intuitively with my clients the more I trusted what I heard and responded from a place of Self Love.
But. Isn’t there always a but!
I’d still find myself in a drama loop. Yikes, what a muddle I’d get myself into, over and over again. It was so frustrating.
For me, it was always romantic relationships. They scrambled my brain!
I’m no different to you and most other souls. I had my heart broken open and my trust betrayed. I picked myself up, dusted myself down, and moved on.
I did the ‘work’ on the pain, I grieved for what was and what might have been. I worked heaps on the core wounds from childhood and I really, really wanted to let them go.
But I’d find myself in the same place, again.
For me it wasn’t that I couldn’t trust the next beau in my life. That was easy for me.
My problem was the opposite.
I trusted too much.
I gave the benefit of the doubt, I understood what was driving their behaviour, I could feel their wounds as if they were my own, I waited for them to change. I gave them time.
Of course, they never did.
That’s where they were.
That’s where I was.
That was that.
I’m always conscious that in situations like this, whatever is occurring in my outer life is there to shine a spotlight into my shadows, so I can welcome it home.
There are times when I would sit with it, watching and listening as I gently and slowly noticed what needed to change. Sometimes I’d dive straight in and tackle it to the ground, happy to score a quick try for Team Gill. And other times I’d follow the dance to see where it took me, to the core of the wound, in all its truth and vulnerability.
It was the the longest dance, I was tired and ready to sit out. And after a rest, I’ll be ready to find a new dance partner, I said.
After all the work I’d done, I really was ready to let this one go. Still the solution eluded me. So I left it alone for a while, changed my focus, redirected my energy to what I really wanted.
I wanted to trust.
I wanted a man I could trust, who would follow through. A man who would be true to his word, open, loving and honest. A man who would stand his ground, know his truth and live it. A man I could depend on.
Then just a few days ago, I had a huge spiritual download; it was amazing. The penny finally dropped. For the longest time I knew it intellectually yet only now did I feel it, breathe it, and accept it at a soul and cellular level.
I’d been looking for the answer to rebuilding trust in others.
I’d been looking for someone to trust.
The truth was revealed to me.
It wasn’t about trusting the next man in my life, or anyone else for that matter.
It is about me trusting me.
I am the one to trust
I am the one to follow through
I am the one to be true to my word
I am the one to be loving to me
I am the one to be honest with me
I am the one to stand my ground
I am the one to know my truth and live it
I am the one I can depend upon
I am the one I need to trust.
This has been a gamechanger for me. Immediately I actually felt different, I could see my world anew. I want this for you.
Relationships are especially good at bringing up our issues with trust. Things happen, or they don’t. It wasn’t what was promised. We feel hurt, let down. We don’t know what to think, what to do, how to be. It wasn’t what you expected. Or maybe it was, because it’s what we experienced before.
We blame the other person, and often ourselves. We feel angry, hurt, disappointed. The pain of broken trust makes us wary, we’re not sure how to be. We’re unsure if we can fully trust, again.
We move into the future unsure of trusting others. Naming, blaming, shaming. It’s their fault. They should have behaved differently. It’s my fault. I should have known better.
If any of part of this resonates and you want to live life differently from now on, then it’s time we worked together.
It’s time to release the past and change your future. It's time to stop dancing the fandango with trust so you can step into Self Love, and fully trust that you will always do what's right for you.
I’m here to support you. I'm right by your side.
You deserve to live your best life, one filled with unconditional love and trust for yourself.
Send me an email to arrange a time for us to chat about where you want to be, my contact details are at the bottom.
I’m waiting to welcome you home to Self Love.
Reach out to me firstname.lastname@example.org
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“I just love being around Gill, her energy is amazing, she positively sparkles. She’s a positive delight to be around and her big smile always makes me want to giggle even when I've been feeling very sad.
I always feel supported, understood and cared for by Gill. She has so much empathy and intuition and quickly helped me get to the bottom of things. I really feel I could trust her with my innermost secrets; working with her has helped me understand myself and healed many of my deepest wounds.
I highly recommend Gill as a professional and caring coach, she is highly trained and knowledgeable and uses a variety of different techniques in the sessions.”
"Amazing results, really, honestly, I have been so fortunate to work with you. So grateful to you Gill for your wonderful calm, gentle manner and your talent in getting me to talk, not difficult about most subjects except when it comes to talking about myself."
“I had almost always been successful at interviews in the past but, after being made redundant from a middle management job I loved, in a quite brutal process, this was no longer the case. I had several interviews but kept coming a "close second" and each setback left me feeling more and more anxious and disheartened. Usually, I think my colleagues would describe me as upbeat and positive. When two lots of interview feedback was around my low enthusiasm levels I realised that I was not presenting the real me at interviews. Having had an amazing session with Gill a couple of years before I approached her for a coaching session.
Firstly, Gill tapped into my inner demons and left me feeling calmer than I had for weeks. She then worked on my positivity, using a visualisation technique I could practice just before an interview. The following week I had two interviews and, after Gill’s help, I felt really confident going into them. I was delighted to be offered both jobs, including one that I really wanted. Seeing Gill made such a difference and was well worth the investment as it helped me to secure an interesting, well-paid job again. I cannot recommend her highly enough.”